A witches favorite subject #joke #humor

What was the witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

Ghost Birthday Party #joke #humor

What was the favorite game at the ghosts' birthday party?

Hide and shriek!

Ghost Shoes #joke #humor

What kind of shoes to do ghosts wear?

Booooooo-ts!

Cost of the bills going up! #joke #humor

Father:  "Look at all these bill!  Rent, heat, water, food, clothes, gas -- the cost of living is going up on all of them.  I'd be happy if just one think went."

Son:  "Here's my report card, Dad!"

Two Hollywood goats found some old film and began to eat it.

"Is it good?" asked one.

"Yes, but I liked the book better," was the reply.

Dogwood Tree #joke #humor

Frank:  "How can you tell a dogwood tree?"

Mary Lou:  "By its bark!"

Knock-Knock Catsup #joke #humor

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Catsup.

Catsup who?

Catsup a tree!

Longest Word in English Language #joke #humor

Question:  What's the longest word in the English language?

Answer:  SMILES -- there is a mile between each "S"!

Running All Day. #joke #humor

Father:  I wonder why that clock is so slow.

Know-It-All-Son:  You would be slow, too, if you were running all day!

What's in a T? #joke #humor

Question:  What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T?

Answer:  A teapot.

What time is it? #joke #humor

Question:  What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

Answer:  Time to get a new fence.

How's business? #joke #humor

Through the eyes of a...

Tailor:  "Just sew-sew."

Farmer:  "Mine is growing."

Author:  "All write."

Astronomer: "It's looking up."

Trash Collector: "It's picking up."

Electrician:  "It's pretty light."

Elevator Operator:  "Mine has its ups and downs."

Bull is charging. #joke #humor

Question:  How do you stop a bull from charging?

Answer:  Take away his credit card.

Waking up a bear? #joke #humor

Question: Why does a bear sleep through the winter?

Answer:  Who's going to wake up a bear?

Eclipse of the Moon #joke #humor

Teacher:  There will be an eclipse of the moon tonight.  Perhaps your parents will let you stay up to watch it.

Pupil:  What channel is it on?