Twas the Day After Christmas #joke #humor

Sunday, December 26, 2010

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'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Nikes and jeans,
I went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little brown truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "US Post Service", man.

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Nordstrom's, now Macy's, now Best Buy's and Sears
Here's Pottery Barn, Gap, and Target and Kohl.
To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,
Now charge away--charge away--charge away all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"Enjoy what you got. . . . . .you'll be paying all year!"

Christmas Joke: How can a snowman lose weight? #joke #humor

Saturday, December 25, 2010

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How can a snowman lose weight?

He waits until it gets warmer!

Christmas: The Millionaire Gift #joke #humor

Saturday, December 25, 2010

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The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap.

Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him and asked 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'Something for my mother, please,' replied young lady sweetly.

'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'

Without pausing, the lady answered quickly, 'A millionaire son-in-law.'

It's Christmas Eve!

Friday, December 24, 2010

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What did Adam say to his girlfriend on December 24th?

'It's Christmas! Eve.'

Christmas Eve Joke: Blackmail

Friday, December 24, 2010

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Black mail!