Daily Jokes - Everyday!

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses the day after the ad came out. All from the same person.

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder.

The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses the day after the ad came out.

All from the same person.

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?

Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.

Patient: What happened?

Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

Patient: Give me the bad news first.

Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?

Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.

A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"

"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.

"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.

A man returns from an overseas trip feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the Hospital to undergo a barrage of tests.

The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital. The phone by his bed rings.

“This is your doctor. We’ve received the results from your tests. W’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is very contagious!”

“Oh my gosh,” cried the man, “What are you going to do, doctor?”

“Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.”

“Will that cure me?” asked the man.

The doctor replied, “Well...no, but it’s the only food we can get under the door.”