The ant and the grasshopper #jokes #humor
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no
food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How
can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of
Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with "green
bias," and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30
million years of greenism.
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green." Bill and
Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do
everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the
prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the
Reagan summers, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the
80's."
Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that
the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for
an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism
Act" retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the, government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single parent
welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday's between
1:30 and 3pm when there are no talkshows scheduled.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just
happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he
doesn't know how to maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the
grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are
showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group of
politicians announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in
America.
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no
food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer
away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How
can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAAGB (National Association of
Green Bugs) shows up on Nightline and charges the ant with "green
bias," and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30
million years of greenism.
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green." Bill and
Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do
everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the
prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the
Reagan summers, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the
80's."
Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that
the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for
an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism
Act" retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the, government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single parent
welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday's between
1:30 and 3pm when there are no talkshows scheduled.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just
happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he
doesn't know how to maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the
grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are
showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group of
politicians announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in
America.
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