Daily Jokes - Everyday!

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers."

"That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess,"" she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.

"Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, ""Can I help you?""

The man said, ""Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder.

The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses the day after the ad came out.

All from the same person.

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Amos.

Amos who?

A mosquito bit me.

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Andy,

Andy Who?

And he bit me again!

Two moving van men were taking things into a house.

One said, "Joe, help me move this chest."

Joe asked, "Why? Did miss Jones tell you to?"

"No.", replied Tom.

"Then how do you know she wants it moved?" asked Joe.

"Because she's under it."

Why isn't your nose 12-inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

City Lady: Look at that bunch of cows.

Cowboy: No, herd.

City Lady: Heard of what?

Cowboy: Herd of cows.

City Lady: Sure, I've heard of cows!

Cowboy: No, a cow herd.

City Lady: What do I care what a cow heard? I've got no secrets from a cow!

Dad: Bill, wash your face! I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.

Bill: What did I have?

Dad: Eggs.

Bill: Wrong. That was yesterday!